


two slow dancers

by ElixirOfWords



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Coworkers to lovers, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Fluffy, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mention of past sexual experiences, Mutual Pining, Sick Character, Spoilers for Season 1, a smidgeon of angst, actually just spoilers in general bc idk what else i might add
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28072308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElixirOfWords/pseuds/ElixirOfWords
Summary: "does it smell like a school gymnasium in here?"ukai keishin lives in a small town, working in a shop owned by his less-than-perfect family. as an only child, the pressure is on him to find a wife and continue the bloodline. that should be easy, but there's so much that his family doesn't know. so much they can't know. but will his bright-eyed co-coach make it worth telling them?"it's funny how they're all the same"takeda ittetsu wants to be a social butterfly, but his bothersome nature leaves him an outcast and his sexuality certainly doesn't help. at this point, he's pretty much accepted the fact that he's going to die alone. he never thought salvation could come in the form of hydrogen peroxide hair and singed hoodies. if he calls out into the abyss, will keishin answer?(some chapters will contain trigger warnings for certain subjects so make sure to read the notes of every chapter before you proceed)
Relationships: Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	1. never the starter

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter (and probably most of the book) will contain swearing. if you're not okay with that, i strongly suggest you click off now.
> 
> anyways, enjoy!

a gust of late-fall wind rattled the chimes clipped to the front door of sakanoshita store. the hollow, tinny ring echoed through the tiny shop, causing the disillusioned young queer cleaning the shelves to whip his bleached head around. here we see ukai keishin, the romeo of our shakespearean tale. it had been a few days since karasuno lost to aoba johsai in the prelims, and he hadn’t really been himself since then. not that his normal self was very cheerful, but his aggressive cleaning and desperate need to be drowning in an extra large hoodie at all times was a testament to his dejectedness. he should be used to losing by now. it was all he was good at. 

see, the ukais weren't your average family. ukai ikkei had a history as karasuno's coach, and it was under him that they rose to become a powerhouse. it was his exit, one that left a trembling young faculty advisor standing alone on the court, that sank the school's reputation and left them with nothing but hurt pride and a cruel nickname. the flightless crows. keishin sighed heavily, pushing a strand of blonde hair behind his ear. he knew a little something about being flightless. from his early childhood, he was marked as having none of the qualities that made his grandfather stand out. he wasn't shrewd, and he couldn't make people fear him with a glance. he remembered once when his grandfather was talking to his friends, teenage keishin at his side, and he said the words that seemed to define his grandson's entire existence.

_"well, you know my boy. always the setter, never the starter."_

those words stung him every time they replayed in his head. he was always the second option. spare setter and vice captain, the number 2 on his high school jersey rang painfully true. hell, that was probably why he felt so bad for the silver-haired third year that watched from the sidelines every game. he knew how fucking horrible it was to always be the second choice. he hated being on the sidelines. but maybe he should be grateful. the people on the sidelines rarely had to shoulder the defeat of their entire team.

that thought prodded harshly at the fresh wound in his mind. karasuno lost, and it was his damn fault. his damn fault for being too hesitant and leaving them without a coach for longer than they needed to be. his damn fault for not having strong enough opinions or being too weak of a leader. his damn fault for underestimating or overestimating certain kids, for not pointing out mistakes he should have corrected ages ago, for not even being qualified enough to do this...

he shook his head, trying to cast out all the what-ifs. keishin was, if nothing else, an overthinker. it was definitely a genetic thing. he had never seen someone fret harder than his poor mother. well, to be fair to her, she had to worry about marrying off a son who couldn't be bothered to feign interest in a relationship. finding a girl and pretending to like her felt disingenuous, and there were only so many excuses he could make as to why he didn't call her back. he knew he was running out of time. him liking men would probably be the last thing his family suspected, but they would suspect it eventually. especially if he actually started dating a man. not that he had anyone in mind.

he totally didn't have anyone in mind.

suddenly, the door opened and the bell chimed for real, distracting him from his thoughts. "coach?"

he immediately recognized hinata's voice. "umm, yes?"

"do you know if the third years are staying on?"

he wasn't really expecting that question. "i'm not sure yet. takeda-sensei gave them a talk, but i don't know if they've made up their minds."

"okay! see you at practice!" shoyo ran out the door as fast as he came, not even bothering to buy anything. he seemed to have internalized their loss and used it to fuel his determination. for the first time in a few days, keishin laughed softly to himself. these kids sure were resilient. he felt stupid now, thinking that they would hate him. he looked out at the foggy gray sky, anticipating the next day's practice. he had a lot of problems, but a nice practice and the exhaustion from taking care of teenagers would clear his head.


	2. a rose with thorns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're going to meet take-chan in this chapter lmao
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> (also tw for mention of dead parents/parental death)

a bunch of papers laid strewn about on a brown sofa in an apartment. the green walls, dark wood, and potted plants lent themselves to an earthy decor scheme. this is where we see takeda ittetsu, the second of our two star-crossed lovers. he had an elfish air about him, fair and doe-eyed and petite. he chewed on the end of a pen and pushed his glasses up. the third years seemed insistent on staying, and he had absolutely no qualms with that, but he had to make sure that they carefully weighed the pros and cons. volleyball would leave them with less time to work on their college applications and prepare for their careers, but still...

the camaraderie of the team was strong and tight-knit, and the third years were at its core. the first and second years knew to listen to suga and daichi whenever they talked, and they all respected asahi. all this without even mentioning the volleyball perspective of things. even in the seijoh match they lost, the third years still held their ground and proved themselves as the foundation of the team. daichi, asahi, and suga all had plenty to offer, and them sticking around would prove extremely beneficial to karasuno.

but alas, he had to be the one to step in and ruin everyone's fun. as much as he hated it, that was pretty much what his job entailed. he always had to be the voice of reason, even though he wasn't a very voice-of-reasony type of person. he just wanted the best for these boys, but he himself didn't know what the best was. he shrugged, guessing that it just depended on the person. but he really did hope the third years stayed. he saw how close the team was, and he would hate for the third years to be lonely...

nonsense. they'd never be lonely. takeda couldn't think of a group of kids more likely to make friends and be successful. he had to keep reminding himself that they weren't like him. some people were better at making friends, and some people just couldn't do it, no matter how hard they tried. some people were used to having doors slammed in their face and calls never answered and dates stood up. some people were always the ones being asked out as a joke and crying in the bathroom during lunch. and by some people, he meant himself. 

but who knows? maybe things could change. maybe now that he had a co-coach--he stopped himself right in the middle of that thought. he was _not_ going to risk ruining things with ukai over a stupid crush. well, it was more than a crush. did imagining a life where you're married still count as a crush? whatever. it didn't matter. he was lucky to even have a _friend_ , much less a lover. but as much as he tried to cast aside his hopes and stop dreaming, he never could.

he remembered the words his mother said to him, right before she closed her eyes for the final time. he was six when it happened, so by all accounts he shouldn't remember them, but that's not the kind of thing you just forget. he remembered the feeling of her warm, dying breath in his ear as she said these words:

"listen to me, tsu. people will walk into a garden and not pick a rose because it has thorns, and they fear thorns. but someone will look past the thorns and see the rose's true beauty. once you find that person, you will be happy." 

indeed, he had proven himself to be a thorn in the side of everyone. he came in contact with. a couple of the other teachers were willing to put up with him, but he knew he was too much for most people. he didn't have to be a genius to figure that out. he thought back to a few months ago, when he overheard two teachers talking about how he was a nuisance who only served to get in the way of everyone. he bit back the tears and smiled through practice, but it still screwed with him to this day. 

but maybe ukai's calloused hands were strong enough to hold a rose with thorns. maybe he could love takeda just the way takeda loved him. while he had tried to keep himself from making any assumptions, takeda had the faintest idea that ukai might be into him. it probably wasn't true, but there were times when he had to do a double take because ukai had said or done something that raised his suspicion. he wanted to stop wishing and waiting and get a concrete answer, but he wasn't about to risk losing the only real friend he's ever had. 

he could only hope that there was a chance...


	3. melting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff and internalized homophobia in the same chapter? ya gotta be kidding me
> 
> also tw for mentions of slight childhood trauma/abuse

ukai walked to the gym, feeling light for the first time in a while. all of the third years had decided to stay, and the first and second years were clearly relieved about it. hell, so was he. the first and second years were strong, but running a team on their own was a task they weren't ready for. also, the combined strength and skill of the third years was a valuable asset he wasn't ready to give up. takeda had expressed his hope that the third years would stay, no matter how much he legally had to dissuade them. he distinctly remembered him saying, "i hope my speech wasn't too convincing." he said it with the most genuine expression, too. god, how keishin would die for this man. 

speaking of takeda, keishin heard his eager voice from behind him. "ukai-kun! aren't you grateful the third years are staying on? i'm so relieved now that the hard part is over." he turned around to see takeda in a pom-pom beanie, winter coat, and scarf. he smiled, cheeks and nose pink from the cold, and ukai suddenly became grateful that his own scarf covered how badly he was blushing. 

he could lie and say that it took him some time to come around to takeda, but he wasn't gonna. the moment the bright-eyed schoolteacher walked into his shop for the first time, he felt a fire in his stomach that he hadn't felt since high school. he had forgotten how it felt to just _love_ someone, and feel a surge of electricity in your veins whenever they're around, and run to the phone whenever it rings just in case it's them, and feel like you're _melting_ whenever they touch you...

...which he was. oh, fuck. takeda's hand was on his arm. he came back to the present as quickly as he could. "yeah, it's a huge weight off my shoulders. i honestly don't know what we would do without sugawara, sawamura, and azumane. i'm glad you decided to put away your persuasiveness just this once." he wasn't sure how he managed to come up with a cohesive sentence in the moment, because there were butterflies in his stomach and it felt like his face was on fire.

once they reached the gym, takeda set down the travel coffee mug he was holding on the wobbly school desk that sat between their chairs. he took off his mittens--god, he was wearing _mittens,_ could this man get any cuter--and put them under his chair, along with the rest of his winter getup. instead of his usual green tracksuit, he was wearing a black turtleneck sweater and black pants. the way takeda tucked his chin into the turtleneck and let the sleeves swallow up his hands made keishin's stomach flutter. it was too _early_ for him to be _this goddamn cute, he couldn't deal with it..._

"hey, umm, coach?" well, now he had to deal with it, because tadashi had a question about his serving technique. he stepped out onto the court to help him, and he could feel takeda's eyes on him from the sidelines. once he sat back down, takeda smiled at him again. "you know, ukai-kun, you're better at this than you give yourself credit for."

oh fuck, oh no, oh jeez. he felt his face going hot again, and thanked his lucky stars for his tan complexion. part of him hated being in love like this. he was supposed to be a man, not a blushing mess. as much as he'd gotten used to his sexuality, keishin still feared it. it felt like a ticking time bomb, just waiting to ruin his life. if his grandfather was willing to hit him over piercings and hair dye, being gay would surely be it for him.

but that was years ago. he could tell that his grandfather had made an effort to change since then. maybe they could talk it out, and he could understand. because he did love takeda. he really did. speaking of which, takeda was staring at him, concerned. "ukai-kun, are you alright? you don't look well."

"no, no, i'm fine. i just...didn't get a lot of sleep last night. thank you, by the way." he sounded troubled, even to his own ears.

takeda still looked doubtful, eyeing him up like he was a distrustful animal that showed signs of injury. "well, if you say so. but make sure you're taking care of yourself. i hate to be rude, but you look exhausted." 

keishin sighed, knowing takeda was probably right. it was winter, and shit was probably going around, so he needed to sleep more, but he just had no time anymore. he would be lying if he said he wasn't completely fucking wiped, but he had work to do. he was an adult. but still, the thought of just bundling up in bed with takeda on a cold winter's night...

wow. yeah, he was certainly fucked.


	4. fire on fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keishin? more like GAYshin lmfao
> 
> also here's some "takeda being motherly and fretting" food for you guys (you'll be getting more of that next chapter hehe)

over the years, takeda had read book after book about body language trying to figure out how to be more socially adept. it didn't gain him any friends, but it left him with a strong talent for persuasion and an ability to know if someone liked him or not. the latter didn't usually come in handy, as most of the time they made their answer pretty clear, but ukai seemed to be giving off mixed signals. he liked being around takeda, he responded to his texts pretty quickly, and he sometimes stared at takeda when he thought no one was looking. so he clearly wanted to be friends. or maybe even...more? but he seemed to catch himself and hesitate whenever takeda showed too much kindness towards him. it was like there was an invisible barrier stopping him from showing how he really felt.

and takeda completely understood. sexuality was a big, scary, confusing thing, and he completely understood if ukai needed time. takeda himself had gotten over the shame of being gay, but he remembered that horrible, dreadful feeling. and he didn't even know what the ukais were like as a family. would they be accepting? when keishin spoke of his grandfather, his voice was laced with slight but noticable fear. would something happen to him if he came out? takeda didn't want to put him in any kind of danger. after all, his entire livelihood depended on his family.

so he would wait. besides, who knew if ukai even liked him? maybe all of this was a figment of his imagination. why would the poor man he harassed into coaching ever be in love with him? maybe he had come around, though. maybe ukai felt the same way. but he wasn't gonna put pressure on him.

throughout practice, takeda kept sneaking ukai concerned looks. tired and worn-out, the blonde looked like he wanted nothing more than to collapse onto a bed. or possibly the floor. takeda wanted to tuck him into bed, and kiss him on his forehead, and tell him he deserved to rest, and watch him slowly drift into sleep...

his thoughts were interrupted by a loud cough from next to him. "holy shit, i gotta stop smoking. it's not usually this bad-" his words were cut off by another coughing fit, more productive this time. takeda furrowed his brow. ukai was right, he usually didn't cough this much. "sorry about that, sensei. i'll be alright."

"well, if you say so, but i'd keep an eye on that. there does seem to be a bug going around." kageyama and asahi had just come back from being sick, and tsukki was out today. he knew it wasn't his place to worry about ukai's wellbeing, but it was his fault for dragging him into this and overworking him more. the least he could do was be considerate of the fact that he was hacking up a lung.

"thanks, specs, but i swear i'm fine. it's just allergies. besides, what am i gonna do, skip out on practice?" his voice sounded raw. takeda could tell he just wanted to crawl into bed.

"rest assured we'll be alright. but if you feel well enough, i'll be happy to see you." he gave ukai a small smile before they both turned to watch hinata and kageyama do their freak quick.

when he got home, he took off his jacket and quietly laughed to himself. ukai was stubborn to a fault, and takeda always wanted someone that was strong enough to be a challenge to him. he loved how they were both fiery, and their passion balanced each other out. more than anything, though, he just wanted keishin to take care of himself, and understand that it didn't make him weak...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took an ass fuck amount of time to come out, a roblox strip club crashed my computer and i had to restart (not to mention i've been working on a ukai x reader oneshot)
> 
> so here's the sickfic portion (ft caring takeda and stubborn ukai)

when keishin woke up the next morning, it took him about half a second to realize that he felt like fucking shit. his head was congested, everything was hot, his sheets were stuck to his legs, he was sweating all over, and his entire body ached like hell. he coughed to clear out the heavy mucus in his lungs, and then realized that his throat was on fire. he remembered the times where he would complain of a headache or a fever only to be dragged to practice anyway. as a result of that, he had a pretty poor grasp on what it meant to be too sick to do something. he was able to force himself out of bed, so he figured he would be alright. it was just a saturday practice, he thought. he would be fine.

after somehow making it to practice without fainting onto the fucking road, he stood in the doorway, leaning on the frame to catch his breath. takeda walked over to him, and ukai saw his face shift from happiness to concern within a split second. "oh my lord, ukai-kun. are you alright? you look like death warmed over." 

ukai bashfully looked away from takeda, tucking his chin into his jacket. "listen, specs..." his throat was inflamed and raw, and his voice reflected it. "i got this far. if i was well enough to get out of bed, i'm well enough to be coaching." 

takeda raised an eyebrow at him. "yeah, like i've never heard that one before. your grandfather used to say the same thing, and he literally collapsed at my feet during practice. i'm not about to have the blood of two ukais on my hands."

ukai laughed, and it crackled with mucus. takeda was looking at him with those big owlish eyes, imploring him to please go home. he hated how vulnerable he felt. he was exposing the weak side of himself to takeda, and he despised it. a chill went through his body as he suddenly felt close to tears. no matter how sick he was, he was not going to make this worse by crying.

"ukai-kun, you can barely hold yourself upright. would you mind if i walked you home? the third years can handle things for a bit."

shit, shit, shit. "no, it's fine--" a sudden wave of nausea swept through him, causing him to double over. he could feel takeda's hand on his back, leading him out of the gym.

"holy hell. how did you even manage to get all the way here?" takeda looked worried, and keishin's heart dropped in his chest.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, i should've stayed home, i don't know why i came here, i thought i would be fine, it wasn't this bad when i woke up..." he trailed off as another chill swept through his body and made him shudder. he just needed to be strong enough to get through this, and then he could go home.

however, his fevered mind had other plans. "i-i guess i just wanted to see you." he immediately wanted to punch himself. that was too much, he definitely gave himself away...

but maybe he didn't. or if he did, he didn't fuck things up. a small smile crept across takeda's face as he locked arms with keishin and kept walking. "that's...that's actually really sweet." he looked at the ground and smiled...holy shit, was takeda blushing? "but the important thing is you being, you know, not about to collapse."

"you know, you're awesome for doing this. i really appreciate it." ukai smiled and held himself up. as much as takeda wanted to take care of him, he was strong enough to take care of himself, and he hated when that came into question. 

once they reached ukai's apartment, he limped to the door and fumbled with the key. takeda turned to offer him help, but ukai turned away from him."thanks, but i don't need help. i can take care of myself. but-but thank you for offering. i really appreciate it." ukai opened the door eventually, thanking takeda profusely and closing his apartment door.

keishin ripped his jacket off and dragged himself over to his bedroom to change. as he put on a pair of pajama pants, he thought about takeda. he cared so much, he really did, and it was the sweetest thing ever, but ukai keishin wasn't someone who needed to be taken care of.

or was he?


	6. would you be so kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter jumps ahead a couple weeks and now its some gay shit
> 
> also an endearing lil narrator moment at the end (idk why the narrator sounds like the one from parable of stanley in my head)

as the winter went by, takeda felt like a weight was being slowly lifted from his shoulders. he felt himself smiling more than he had in years. it seemed the black cloud that had followed him everywhere since childhood had gradually begun to subside. and he owed so much of that to keishin.

keishin’s talent was making people become their best, through positive or negative reinforcement. and even though takeda wasn’t one of the athletes he coached, he had grown so much since they first met.

he went from an annoying and frustratedly determined pest of a person to a strong leader whose determination was a good quality, not a hindrance to everyone. he got to be there for these boys as they grew into bright, capable young men. he found the family he never had. by taking a risk and making an ass of himself and doing what no one else would, he experienced something no one else will.

and if anyone other than that gruff, irritable, loud, passionate, nurturing, imperfect, wonderful store clerk had been by his side this whole time, it wouldn’t have been the same.

one day, as he was sitting by a sunny window grading papers and sipping green tea that was the perfect temperature, a thought occurred to him. it was a thought that had crossed his mind many times, but he always threw it in the trash right away. this time, however, he wanted to explore it a little more. everything felt right, and he let himself indulge in the notion.

could he ask ukai out on a date?

it was a bold idea, but was it not a bold idea that brought him to ukai in the first place? also, he really, really liked ukai. there was no denying that. and there was a case to be made that ukai liked him right back.

he always answered takeda’s texts quickly, and he always seemed like he wanted to be talking to him. other than when they first met, he never seemed dismissive. he always listened to what ittetsu had to say, even if it wasn’t something that interested him. he seemed excited the few times they had gone to work dinners together. and out of the corner of his eye, takeda sometimes caught him staring during games. 

even if all of that meant something, ukai might not be ready to date a man yet. he didn’t want to force someone out or make them uncomfortable. he didn’t want to lose the only real friend he had.

but ukai seemed like maybe he’d be cool with it, and hopefully he’d be willing to forget about it if he didn’t like him back. 

also, ukai seemed a bit lonely. he sometimes talked to takeda about how he wanted to get married, but none of the girls his parents tried to set him up with were the right person for him. he never explicitly said whether he had a specific person in mind, but it was something.

takeda was sick of sitting and waiting around for his prince to come. he was going to seek him out himself. and if keishin somehow felt the same way, they could be something amazing.

keishin, you there? someone’s out there praying to the stars above that you fall in love with them.

oh, nevermind. it seems you’ve taken care of that.


	7. ophelia (simple truths)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow, looks like there might have been a coincidence 😳
> 
> also the name behind this chapter is one of my favorites
> 
> it was originally supposed to just be called ophelia bc of the lumineers song and ophelia's use of flower language in hamlet, but i wanted it to tie into the end part so i added the parentheses :-)
> 
> anyways happy reading

in the dim light of the stock room, keishin set his laptop on a table and studied the shipment of valentine’s day roses they had just gotten. lord in heaven, these babies could not have come at a more perfect time. he technically wasn’t supposed to be doing this, but fuck that. the store could live without a few roses if it meant he got to see takeda’s adorable flustered face, and listen to his nervous stutter… 

god, was keishin whipped. 

he opened google and furiously typed “what do different rose colors mean” into the search bar. every time he got to a color that he wanted to include, he sifted through the pile until he found the perfect one. his hands were scratched up and a tad bloody by the end, but takeda ittetsu was worth losing blood for. 

the first color he picked was yellow. according to the website, yellow signified friendship and care. underneath all the messy feelings and the gay stuff, he considered takeda one of his closest friends. he cherished the nights when they would stay after practice cleaning up, talking about anything and everything and nothing in particular. takeda was kind enough to offer friendship to him, even when keishin had acted like a little bitch and pretended to want nothing to do with him. he was eternally glad he got over his stupid fucking pride and caved in, because he found a good, honest, caring friend in this man.

the second rose was orange. orange was made to represent strong, fiery feelings, like enthusiasm, passion, and heart. takeda was spilling over with all of these qualities, and that was why keishin was drawn to him from day one. he had come into his shop with a fire in his soul and a willingness to do whatever he had to do. he breathed life into every practice, every game, every moment the team spent together. he was so polite it should be annoying, but keishin’s heart did a flip every time he bowed or apologized profusely for some random shit that didn’t even matter. everything takeda did, he did all out. he never half-assed anything. he was so much, and that’s what made him beautiful.

the third rose was peach. they commonly represented loyalty and gratitude to a person, and were given when business agreements were reached. this was obviously so much bigger than a business partnership, but it still felt apropos. they had started out on the wrong foot, and it took a little time to adjust to each other, but they grew into something great. everything was fine between them, but he wanted to officially show him that they were allies. that they were business partners and partners-in-crime and maybe even just partners, period…

this led him to the pink rose. romance. he had been dancing around the romantic aspect of things, but he couldn’t deny it anymore. he was absolutely weak in the knees for this man and he wanted to kiss him until they both turned blue. that was a simple truth, clear as day. just like the truth of how takeda’s smile lit up every nerve in his body, and how his eyes were like a milky brown galaxy keishin loved to get lost in, and how his mere presence could breathe life into a room and make it sparkle with joy and excitement… 

there were so many truths that he’d known for so long, and he had to make sure takeda knew them as well. that’s what the pink rose was for. love was a big, gaping, twisting, winding, enveloping vacuum, but it was also a simple truth. so along with the roses, he took out a small piece of paper and wrote these brief words: 

_the truth is, i love you. - keishin_

he was certain that none of this would be lost on takeda. he folded up the paper and wedged it in the middle of the small bouquet (if you could even call it that). he took the bundle of roses and realized he didn’t have anything to wrap around them. whatever. his hands were rougher than anyone else’s he knew. he could handle some thorns. 

before he left for practice, he pulled out his phone and texted takeda. 

_hey can you talk after practice? i have a question for you_

the response he got made him almost drop his phone. 

_i actually wanted to say the same thing! i guess we’ll both ask our questions after practice. see ya! :D_

he leaned against the wall to try and process this situation. it was valentine’s day, and they both had a question to ask each other.   


keishin wasn’t stupid. this wasn’t a romantic comedy, and he knew it probably wasn’t whatever he thought it was. he grabbed his bag, carefully placed the roses in, and ran to practice. 

what he was about to do was scary. but he was done lying.

love was a simple truth, and simple truths hurt the most not to tell.


	8. out of all the flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY THESE TWO IDIOTS GET OVER THEMSELVES AND CONFESS
> 
> also the next chapter is gonna involve some ukai family feels so enjoy that

for the next 24 hours, takeda spent as much time as he could working on the note.  _ it needs to be perfect, it needs to be perfect, it needs to be perfect… _

as his students left his final period of the day, he read the note and took a breath. god, he was nervous. this was his one chance. his one chance to show keishin just how much he loved him. he couldn’t mess this up.

his stomach was in knots, and he didn’t even want to read it, but he knew he had to. gulping nervously, he looked over the finished note and took a breath.

_ dear ukai-kun... _

it had everything he wanted to say. every little bit of emotion he had felt in the past 24 hours was held on that page. it was mortifying, sure, but ittetsu takeda was not the type of person to be stopped by shame. what really caused his stomach to drop was the idea of abandonment, the possibility of being pushed aside by the one person who’s ever cared about him, and being shunned by the only family he’s ever known.

but he reminded himself that this wasn’t a shot in the dark. he had a hunch that ukai felt the same way, and evidence to back it up. because he wasn’t stupid. he felt the stares when he wasn’t looking. he saw the way keishin smiled at the floor after takeda said something to him on the sidelines. he heard the wistful sighs whenever he talked about how he _ really wants to find the right person, but in this small town, it feels impossible. _

_ but it is possible, _ takeda had reassured him.  _ people in small towns aren’t all the same, they just hide their differences because they feel like they need to. _

takeda had seen the hope on his face in that moment. he didn’t know if it was hope for him, but he had reason to believe.

as he walked into practice, ukai smiled at him. takeda tried to gauge his expression. was he _ nervous?  _ he looked like had something he really, really wanted to tell takeda. could it be that…no, there was no way.

well, it was valentine’s day, so maybe…

perhaps it was a possibility. 

throughout practice, the two kept sneaking each other covert glances, as if they were both in on some kind of joke. neither of them knew what the other had planned, but there was an energy in the air that they were both sensing. 

after practice ended and everyone cleared out, they stood in the doorway facing each other. ukai’s bag was over his shoulder, and he was fidgeting and rocking his feet. he looked at the ground, refusing to meet takeda’s eye. “so, do you wanna go first or should i?”

“i can go first.” takeda was smiling, but every nerve in his body was sparking with anxiety. he fumbled with the note as he took it out of his pocket and handed it to ukai. ukai unfolded it with shaking hands, and he immediately shut his eyes.

unable to bear the suspense, he opened them again. ukai hadn’t gotten very far into it yet, and he looked torn between nervousness and confusion. takeda sucked in a breath as ukai kept reading.

_ dear ukai-kun, _

_ i really hope you’re doing well. i was a little worried about you, but you seem like yourself again. i know you’re wondering why i gave you this, so i’m going to tell you. it’s because i love you. i know that seems strong, and it kind of is, but i didn’t want to talk around it or be confusing. since the day we met, i saw something in you that i’d never seen in anyone else before. and ever since we’ve worked together, i’ve only fallen harder for you. if you’re scared of me, or if you push me away after this, i completely understand. but i wanted to let you know that i’m always there. whenever you need me, i’ll be by your side. i want to take care of you. i want to spend my days with you. more than anything, though, i want to be a part of your story. what we’re doing here is history in the making, and it would be amazing if we could share this as more than just friends. on the off-chance that you feel the same way, i would be so happy to spend more time with you. _

_ yours truly (if you want), _

_ takeda ittetsu _

takeda watched as ukai’s expression changed from confusion to shock to...relief? joy?

ukai bit his lip to stop it from quivering and blinked to keep his eyes from overflowing. takeda had never seen him like this. his cheeks were a warm shade of red, visible even under his darker complexion.

“specs, i… i have something to give you.”

ukai reached into his duffle bag and pulled something out. it looked like… 

no, it couldn’t be…

but it was…

four different roses in four different colors. yellow for friendship, orange for passion, peach for gratitude, and pink for romance. a small, fiery bouquet.

held together with a rubber band, there was nothing protecting ukai’s hands from the thorns. nothing except their roughness and strength. takeda’s eyes went wide.

his mother’s words, all those years ago.

someone had walked into his garden and picked him, a rose with thorns. they were able to see the rose’s beauty. 

he felt his heart lighten and his eyes well up with tears. it was like a curse had been lifted. a prophecy had been fulfilled, and ukai didn’t even know it.

ukai handed him the roses and smiled. “there was nothing i could wrap them in. sorry about that. also, there’s a note inside. it’s nowhere near as well-written as yours, but it’s something.” he looked at his feet, blinking rapidly as if trying to convince himself that this was really happening.

with shaking hands, takeda unfolded the small piece of paper. even though his vision was blurred with tears, he could read the note perfectly.

_ the truth is, i love you. -keishin. _

“oh, i…” takeda’s voice was breathy and light. “i love you too.” he looked back up at keishin, whose eyes were about to overflow. he was smiling, but his lip quivered. had he been waiting and wishing and hoping just like takeda had?

“so, do you think we could meet up for dinner sometime this weekend? i don’t wanna be too forward, but… i really do like you, specs.” ukai was wringing his hands and staring at the floor. 

“i’d love to. how does tomorrow night sound?”

“that sounds good.”

the two of them smiled at each other. the wall of uncertainty between them had finally been torn down, and they could see each other clearly.

the fence to the garden had been opened, and ukai had picked a rose with thorns.

out of all the flowers he could have picked, he picked him.


	9. floodgates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait! i've been a bit busy doing things for other fandoms as of late and haven't had much time to work on this, but the emotional chapter is finally done! enjoy!

keishin spent all of saturday morning trying to calm his nerves and make himself appear even the least bit composed, but it wasn’t easy. to add to his stress, his grandfather happened to be in the shop that morning. for most of the day, he moved about carefully like a stray cat who didn’t want to be caught.

fade into the background. make yourself part of the scenery. no one needs to notice a thing.

lost in anxious, racing thought, he barely noticed when his mother tapped him on the shoulder. “keishin, i wanted to ask you something.”

his stomach dropped immediately. “oh, uh, what?”

she gestured to the pile of roses in the stock room. “i noticed a couple of them were missing. so who’s the lucky girl?” his mother’s pleased grin made his heart sink. she looked so proud, so overjoyed, he couldn’t bear to tell her…

but she had to know. she deserved to know.

“i… i mean, yeah. but…” he stalled, trying to figure out what to say. the sound of the clock ticking filled his ears, and his mouth felt dry. his mother’s bewildered expression made his stomach uneasy.

he had to tell her.

“well, it’s not…” he squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see her face. he clenched his hands into fists at his sides. he felt like his nerves were violin strings, stretched to their limit and scratched to make a grating sound.

“it’s not a girl.”

he opened his eyes. his mother and grandfather were now both staring at him, eyes wide and brows furrowed. all of the air had been sucked out of the room. his mother’s happiness was like a glass vase on the ground, falling and smashing to pieces on the tile floor.

he had ruined everything.

it was his grandfather who finally broke the silence. “so, does that mean you’re…”

“yeah, i’m…” the word got caught on his tongue. it felt like a curse word, something he wasn’t allowed to say. he had felt this way for so many years, like this part of him was a secret he could never tell anyone. but they know now, so what does it matter? “i’m gay.i know it’s not what you wanted to hear, and I know you’re disappointed in me, but i can’t lie to you any longer...”

keishin’s words trailed of as his throat closed up and his vision began to blur with tears. he was not going to cry. not now. not here. but he had carried this weight with him since middle school. ever since he was old enough to get crushes and have wet dreams and feel love, he knew he would never feel that way about a girl. 

for worse or for better, that weight was off his shoulders.

his mother’s voice brought him back to reality. “kei.” she grabbed his face and looked him in the eye, tears in her eyes as well. “we’re not disappointed in you. you’re my son. you’re a part of this family. nothing can get in the way of that. especially something that you can’t change.” 

the lump in his throat made it hard to breathe. his eyes were overflowing with tears, and his mother’s face became a blurry, shiny haze. 

his grandfather placed his hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eye. “keishin, i have a million reasons to be disappointed in you. rest assured that this is not one of them.” his grandfather’s crooked smile, the one they shared, was what pushed him over the edge. for the first time in what felt like forever, his grandfather pulled him into a hug. his mother wrapped her arms around him too, and he completely stopped holding back the floodgates. tears were gushing down his face, and his mother and grandfather’s grips on him were too tight to pull away.

“i don’t know what i would’ve done if you didn’t accept me, because i’ve never loved anyone the way i love him…” he couldn’t keep anything in anymore. all of this had built up for so many years…

his mother and grandfather finally pulled away from the hug and his mother looked at him. “if you want to sit down and talk with us about it, we both have some time.”

he looked at both of their smiling, teary-eyed faces. he checked his watch. he had a while to spare before his date.

and he had so much to say.


End file.
